November 26, 2014

My Sanctuary

I used to post so much here. I'm going to try and talk more. It's been helpful. 

The holidays always remind me of what I've had and what I no longer have. It's lonely where we live. All our families are in other states.  My brother has twin girls. I miss them so much.

My son is missing out on growing up with his cousins. My dad recently told me in a somewhat emotional way that one of the twins is so much like me that he is watching his first born child growing up again.

He's not emotional with me very often but this means a lot to me. My parents rarely referred to me as a child positively. There was always a complaint. This makes me love my nieces even more. They aren't identical twins so at least there is only one of me repeating history.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

1 comment:

Smitty said...

I wanted to let you know I like your format, and the intention that you set in writing your most recent post.

I hope you wended your way through the holidays; I do know how it can be to raise a child away from extended family. There are blessings too, if I look for them. For me, a rather unresolved relationship with my mom helps me to make peace with myself.

But I too wish my son had cousins and second cousins to grow up with. They can be such good mirrors to one another in adulthood.

Looking forward to seeing you write again. I am starting out of a depression that I have a hard time sharing, but just for today, I found some joy and some words in mindfulness meditation.

Love, Smitty