Unitended consequences of my past pushed on to some that I truly love and care for more than I can ever express to them. I'm not so good with words unless I am tearing someone apart. When it comes to telling someone how deeply I care for them I find that difficult.
Instead I tell them I'm available day or night whenever they need me. Just call, I'll be there no matter what. I don't say these words to just anyone. I never know though if the person gets the intensity of my feelings when I say this or if they just think they are just words.
All I know is they don't call. So something is either getting lost in my message or they don't feel for me what I feel for them. I've had to learn to accept that as painful as it is...one day perhaps I'll have an equal relationship. I do have one friend that thinks like me but she moved kind of far away and I feel alone again.
She called tonight and we laughed a bit but she doesn't have a car and my health isn't good and I don't feel up to a long drive right now but she gets me, she's Louise and I'm Thelma and we all know how that story goes! I really miss her
In the meantime, there are others I connect with but unfortunately there are limitations involved and that makes me sad. It should be something to be excited about and it is temporarily but reality sets in and the sadness takes over....of what may never be only time will tell