mommy guilt...

I have tons of mommy guilt. Guilt that I need to work, guilt over my promotion that takes me away from my son on weekends, guilt that I am studying for my last certification, guilt that I was not able to do this before he was born, guilt that I am often too tired to play the way he wants me to...

He's only four once and someday he will be off with his friends. I want to enjoy these years with him. Once this last part of my certification is passed, that is one less distractor from him.

I tell myself that I am doing all of this for him too. Making more money helps with his college someday, seeing a mom who is an achiever rather than the mom I had growing up...but really at the end of the day...he just wants mommy.

It's so hard to balance work, personal etc. I feel like there is never enough time in the day for anything.

My to do list is growing at work and I feel like I am sinking there. I wish I could play with my son all day and just enjoy him but that doesn't happen.

He needs me and I feel like I am not there "enough". How will this affect him later I wonder?