obsession

has anyone seen this tv show? I saw a few episodes. Its about patients with OCD and they work with exposure therapists to overcome their compulsions. Patients are put in situations where they have to face their anxiety and not do whatever their compulsion is.

On a smaller scale I feel like I did this today. I was starting to slip into depression again, I could feel it. My husband said he and our son we're going to the YMCA we just joined a month ago.

I wanted so badly to stay in bed where I was and just sleep. I was watching this show and thought I should just get up and join them and see if I felt better. I did feel better. I was moody at first but once we got to the Y and went into the pool, I did feel better. I used to swim all the time when I was younger. My parents had us join the local pool and we spent summers swimming and had a great time.

Going to the Y brings back some of those memories. It was nice to throw our son back and forth in the pool listening to him say "do it again" or "lets do the turtle" and he'd hop on our backs and swim back and forth. Once I got home I showered then went over to my neighbor's house she just had a baby girl. I spent about an hour there before I brought her son back to our house to play with our son. They are close friends...

None of this would have happened if I hadn't gotten out of bed. Every day is still a struggle but I am trying harder to force myself to not just lay around. I hope I can continue to pull myself together when I need to.

Of course, thinking about going back to work tomorrow I can feel some anxiety building up. I hate this job especially after Friday and an incident that happened but I will get up tomorrow and go back.

Once this project is done that I am working on I need to put my resume together but I'll think about that later when I can do something about it.

I'm taking on day at a time...it's all I can do right now.